Karen Zweers, 23 December 2011
South Africa , Gravelotte 31°

Adrenaline rush, big time

It is by far the craziest thing I have ever done, and the scariest, and the stupidest… but I am not allowed to tell the details. The reason is that if you want to learn it, you have to learn it properly and not pass the exam because someone already told you all the details. This would be cheating and even though some people have done it before Liz and I had our shot, they had kept their mouths shut, so Liz and me had not a clue before the day started. Lucky us, when we were done we could talk about it to all the people who have already done it.

So, now what am I talking about and how can I post it on my blog when I am not allowed to tell exactly what happened during the day. I am going to try to work my way around it in a short version, so I can’t spoil it for every one else who is planning to do…. Something stupid… something crazy… something that gives you an adrenaline rush you’ve never had before and something that scares the shit out of most people: a course in snake handling.

On December 22nd, Liz and I were the ones doing the snake-handling course together. You always do it with 2 people (unless they mess up at the reception, as some Bushwise students found out) and it is a full day course. We were both excited and nervous when we showed up at the gate. It had been a while since we studied the reptiles, but we hoped we still knew enough to get by. We started of easy with a cup of coffee and a chat what we expected during the day. That we were nervous was normal and my biggest fear was actually not the snakes, even though we were going to handle some of the most venomous and dangerous ones of Africa. No, I was afraid I was going to hurt the snakes while learning how to handle them, capture them, transport them and release them on safe grounds. And as the instructor told us, there was going to be an exam and some Bushwise students already failed it this year. One person actually failed to catch a snake during the course and accidentally set it free since it escaped into a tree trunk and they couldn’t get it out. Since all the ones from our campus came back with a diploma, it must have been from the other campus.

So this course is being done with real life snakes. Freshly caught the day before in the wild and not domesticated in any kind of way. By the way, you can’t really domesticate and train a snake; it will always be a wild animal with wild instincts. As a matter of fact, one of the Bushwise students from our campus who had done the course before me actually had gotten a snakebite. Lucky him it wasn’t a venomous one and he showed it around like a war wound, but it shows how real this day is.

After the coffee we were taking to a table full of equipment that might or might not be used in a snake capture. Basically you are being trained to respond to a call from people who happen to have a snake somewhere, like in the house or garden or anywhere else where it is not safe for either snake or human or pets. Have you ever watched Animal Planet or Nat Geo Wild? I don’t remember the name of the exact program, but it is those kind of snake captures that we were trained for to handle.

The day itself was very pragmatic. You are asked to think for yourself and to reason before you were taught how actually to do it. So standing at the table with all the equipment you have to answer what you take with and why. We reasoned well, but took some things that were bogus and some unnecessary items. But at least we had all the right tools as well.

When we got our first call of a snake in the garden we were completely unprepared however. We were so focused on the snake that we actually forgot to ask for the person’s address or phone number. Might be easier to know if you want to help the person and capture the snake otherwise you have to sit and wait for the person to cal back… Lucky for us it was a training setting and the instructor knew where to go.

Since all the assignments were try first and learn from your mistakes afterwards we blundered through a lot of things. But we learned from it and try to retain it all because we knew we had a practical exam by the end of the day. Most of the time I just felt like a stupid idiot. I like snakes a lot, they are fascinating creatures and most of the time they are more scared of you than the other way around. So if you leave them alone they’ll usually just slide away. If you go crazy and give chase it is when they will get annoyed and if you corner them they see no other way then to attack as their defense. And during this course that is exactly what you are doing. You are chasing them, harassing them while capturing them and I kept on apologizing to the snakes we had to handle. “Sorry buddy, don’t mean to harm you, you just can’t stay here”. Honestly, every snake is a potential killer and every wrong move can have painful consequences, but I was more worried about the snakes than myself.

So where does the adrenaline rush come in. Ok, I’ll tell you one thing. When you respond to a call ‘Help I got a snake in my garden/house’ and you are with 2 people, 1 will be the handler and the other one the assistant. The first ‘call’ was for Liz, the second one I was the handler. I had to go and help a man who had seen a snake going into his house but had not a clue where it was now or what kind of snake it was. So here you are, snake thongs at the ready and prepared for the worst with all equipment at the ready. When I got to the house, it looked like a small apartment where a bomb had gone off. Basically like my room usually looks. Which there is a lot of nice hiding places for a snake… that you have to go and find. Adrenaline through the roof when you start moving the rumble onto a big pile and at any given time you can encounter a snake. You know it is there somewhere, but no idea where or what kind. The more rumble you move the less anxious you get. When I finally found the cobra on the couch underneath a pillow, I sighed with relieve. At least now I knew where it was and what to do with it. Sort of. We had a little practice in capturing snakes with a dog leash, but this one was for real. And believe me, he didn’t like being captured. He actually moved swiftly away while I was contemplating its length and where to grab it, and before I had a good grip it had found a tiny hole in the coach and had moved inside… Now this can happen in real life too, so I learned quickly never to hesitate, because now we had to open the coach at the back and find the snake again. I did catch him in the end. Or her, not a clue.

Like I said, at the end of the day we had an exam. This was personal, so Liz and I could not help each other. You had to put everything you learned that day into practice and you were allowed a maximum of 10 penalty points (faults) to be able to pass the test. In the end both Liz and I passed with flying colours . I only had 3 penalty points, which is not much, but I was very angry with myself for 2 of them. They were completely unnecessary and pointed out during the day as well. I felt stupid I got those, so now I will never forget it! But all in all, now I have a diploma stating I can handle snakes if I ever need to

Here are some of the snakes we handled:
- Puff Adder
- Banded Cobra
- Boomslang
- Black Mamba
- Mozambique Spitting Cobra
- Rock Monitor
- African Rock Python

PS: If I told the day in full detail, this would have been another very long story, so lucky you I am restricted